Dressing Like Yourself Is an Act of Rebellion - Own Who You Are!

Somewhere along the way, the shine dulls. We start dressing like each other. We mute our vibe, blend into the background, and become — dare I say it — generic. And a little bit invisible.

In our 20s and 30s we embraced our own unique style. We were bold, experimental, unapologetically ourselves. Then, often somewhere around menopause, something shifts. We start dressing like our mums. And look — I love our mums. But we are not them.

Here's what I believe: dressing well is a spell. It's self-expression. It's how we tell the world who we are. Leaning into your own unique style is casting a spell that says — hey world, I'm the main character in my own life. And it's about time.

The Bravery We Forget We Have

I'm a creative introvert, and I've always had a strong sense of style. In my 20s I was the girl in vintage old man pyjamas, combat boots and a delicate sequin cardigan. I've always mixed staples with vintage and hero pieces. Style has always come naturally to me — it's one of the few languages I've always been fluent in.

But something happened years ago that I've never forgotten. I was working with a woman — sharp, driven, someone who went after her goals with fierce determination. One day she looked at me and said: 'I wish I were brave enough to dress like you.'

Brave enough? I was floored. This woman was out there conquering things daily, and she was too afraid to wear the clothes that made her feel like herself. That comment has stayed with me for years, because it revealed something most of us don't talk about: we are more afraid of being visible than we are of being invisible. We have been so conditioned to shrink, to not take up too much space, to not draw attention — that even getting dressed has become an act of fear.

That's not okay. And I'm done with it.

When I Lost My Own Style

I'll be honest — style comes naturally to me, but feeling good in my own skin hasn't always. Carrying menopause weight is not a joy. But the harder truth is this: I was in a deeply toxic relationship that sucked the life out of me. Not just my energy, my confidence, my joy — but my sense of self. I felt ugly every single day. Not because I was, but because I was being made to feel that way, slowly and deliberately, over time. That's what toxic relationships do — they don't announce themselves. They just quietly dismantle you until you don't recognise the person in the mirror.

Getting dressed when you feel like that is hard. Really hard. There were days I couldn't have cared less what I wore because I'd stopped believing I was worth the effort. And I share that not for sympathy, but because I know I'm not the only one. If you've been there — or you're there right now — I see you. And I want you to know that getting dressed with intention, even badly, even just adding one small thing that feels like you, is a tiny act of reclaiming yourself.

But I came back to myself. Slowly, imperfectly, one outfit at a time.

Getting Back Into the Groove

I'm a work in progress — we all are. Some days I live in my lounge clothes because I live alone and I can. But when I go out or head to the office, I take that as my opportunity. I put on something with a bit of edge. I add a detail. I remind myself that I have a point of view, and it's worth expressing.

Start small if you need to. Paint your nails. Do your hair properly — even a slick ponytail counts. Pop on some lippy, colour or gloss, whatever you fancy. It takes two seconds and it changes something in how you carry yourself. Then add one detail to your outfit — a scarf, a brooch, a pair of earrings, some unexpected shoes. These small things are not trivial. They are the difference between going through the motions and actually showing up as yourself.

Find your inspiration and follow it. Instagram and Pinterest are brilliant for this — start following women in your age group whose style resonates with you. Save what you love and notice the patterns. You'll quickly see your own aesthetic emerging, and that's incredibly powerful.

My Nana Knew Something We've Forgotten

My Nana was always immaculately groomed. Matching tracksuits in her signature pink. Neatly pressed clothes. Hair always done. A little colour on her cheeks and lips, nails always neat and painted. She never left the house looking like she'd given up on herself. At the time I thought it was just her generation. Now I understand it differently. She knew that taking care of your appearance is taking care of yourself. It is an act of self-respect. It is an act of self-love.

We have somehow convinced ourselves that not caring is cool, or that putting effort into how we look is vain. It isn't. It's the opposite. It's saying — I matter. I am worth the effort. I am showing up for myself today.

What's Your Uniform?

I'm never going to feel good in a dress. I am a baggy-jeans, heeled-boots, vintage-jacket kind of woman. That is my uniform. That is what makes me feel like I can walk into a room and own it. Yours might be completely different — and it should be. Because this is not about following trends or looking like anyone else. It's about that feeling you get when you walk out the door and think — yeah. This is me.

You don't need to be brave to dress like yourself. You just need to give yourself permission. Permission to be seen. Permission to take up space. Permission to be the main character in your own damn life.

What would you wear if nobody was watching? Start there. Then wear it anyway — even when they are.

What's your style uniform? I'd love to hear in the comments — and if you've ever been told you're 'brave' for dressing the way you do, tell me that too. We need to talk about it.