The Reinvention Tour — Alcohol, Menopause and the Conversation Nobody Is Having

By Alli · Simply Simpatica · 8 min read

It is Saturday afternoon, the time of day when bird song starts and the twilight is arriving. For most of my life, at this time of day, I would be thinking about my first glass of the day. That sweet first glass that takes the edge off the day and puts you into a mild state of euphoria where you daydream and everything is possible. By the third glass, there is less euphoria and more melancholia.

I am not having one. And the reason why is more complicated than I ever used to admit.

I am the daughter of an alcoholic mother. Those words used to be a secret shame that I carried for most of my life. I have also used alcohol to cope with some of the hardest seasons of my life — bad relationships, grief, the particular exhaustion of holding everything together when everything was falling apart. I know what it feels like when a glass of wine stops being a pleasure and starts being a solution. I know that line intimately. And I know which side of it I want to stay on.

This is not a post about addiction. I am not writing from the middle of a struggle — I am writing from the other side of one, healed, with the kind of clarity that only comes from having done the work. This is a post about the conversations women over 50 are having privately, but not publicly. About alcohol, menopause, coping, and the question every woman over 50 is quietly asking herself on a Saturday afternoon.

Am I drinking too much? And what is it actually doing to my body?

The Thing Nobody Tells You About Alcohol After 50

Your body has changed. Not in a subtle, barely-noticeable way — in a fundamental, biochemical way that means the glass of wine you have been drinking since your thirties now hits completely differently after 50.

Here is why. As we age we lose muscle mass. Muscle absorbs alcohol. Less muscle means alcohol gets into your bloodstream faster, hits harder and stays longer. The same glass of wine that gave you a pleasant Saturday afternoon glow at 40 is now doing something quite different after 50. Your tolerance has not gone down because you are weaker. It has gone down because your body has genuinely changed.

And then there is the hormone piece. During menopause our oestrogen drops significantly. Alcohol raises oestrogen levels artificially. Which sounds like good news but is not, because that artificial oestrogen spike is associated with increased breast cancer risk. The research is detailed and it is not comfortable reading. If you have concerns about your personal risk, especially if you have a family or personal history of cancer, it is always a good idea to talk to your doctor or healthcare provider. They can help you understand how alcohol might affect your health specifically and guide you towards choices that are right for you.

What Alcohol Actually Does to Menopause Symptoms

This is where it gets interesting — and where most women are genuinely surprised.

Sleep. Most of us think a glass of wine at night helps us sleep. It does help us fall asleep. But the quality of that sleep is significantly disrupted. Alcohol prevents us from reaching the deep restorative sleep stages our bodies desperately need — especially during menopause when sleep is already compromised. You fall asleep faster and wake up at 3am feeling like you have not slept at all. Sound familiar?

Weight. A standard glass of wine is approximately 150 calories. That does not sound catastrophic until you realise that most of us are significantly underestimating what we pour at home. A generous home pour of wine is often closer to two standard drinks than one. And those calories are empty — no protein, no nutrients, nothing that supports the body we are trying to rebuild on the Reinvention Tour.

Hot flushes. The evidence is mixed but several studies have found that women who drink daily are more likely to experience hot flushes. Alcohol dilates blood vessels, which is exactly what a hot flush is. If you are struggling with hot flushes and you drink regularly, cutting back is one of the first things worth trying.

Mood. This one is the most important and the least talked about. Many women use alcohol to manage the anxiety, depression and emotional turbulence of menopause. It works in the short term — that is why we do it. But alcohol is a depressant. What feels like relief in the moment makes the underlying anxiety and mood issues significantly worse over time. The research is unambiguous on this.

The Complicated Truth — It Is Not All Bad News

Here is something that surprised me in the research and that I want to share honestly because Simply Simpatica does not cherry-pick facts to make a point.

Moderate alcohol consumption, which is defined as one standard drink or less per day, has actually been associated with a lower risk of early menopause compared to not drinking at all. For clarity, a standard drink typically means about 100ml of wine, 285ml of beer or 30ml of spirits. This helps us accurately see what one drink really means — and how easy it can be to pour more without realising. Some studies suggest light drinking may have protective effects on heart health. The relationship between alcohol and our bodies is genuinely complicated and the answer is not simply stop drinking and everything will be fine.

The answer is know yourself. Know your history. Know what alcohol does to your specific body, your specific symptoms, your specific relationship with the glass in your hand.

What I Have Learned — The Hard Way

Growing up with an alcoholic mother teaches you things about alcohol that most people never have to learn. It teaches you that alcohol is not neutral. It does not affect everyone the same way. That genetics plays a role that nobody likes to talk about. That the line between pleasure and coping is thinner than it appears on a Saturday afternoon when everything feels fine.

I have used alcohol to cope. With grief. With pain. With situations I did not know how to face sober. As an empathic introvert, I used alcohol to get through social situations that felt impossible without it. Looking back on those moments I understand now why I needed what I needed then. The shame has gone. What remains is compassion — for the woman I was and the tools she had available. I have come out the other side of that with a relationship with alcohol that is deliberately, consciously careful. Not abstinent — I am not prescribing abstinence for anyone including myself. Just honest. Eyes open. Aware of what I am reaching for and why.

That awareness is everything. It is the difference between a glass of wine as a pleasure and a glass of wine as an anaesthetic. One is fine. One is not.

The Question Worth Asking Yourself

Not how much are you drinking. Not whether you are drinking too much by someone else's measure. But this:

Why are you drinking?

If the answer is — because I enjoy it, because it is Saturday afternoon, because this Shiraz is genuinely beautiful and I want to taste it — that is one thing.

If the answer is — because I am anxious, because I am lonely, because I cannot face the evening without it, because I need the edges softened just to get through — that is a different conversation. One worth having. With yourself first, and then perhaps with someone who can help.

You are not alone in that conversation. More women than you know are having it quietly. This is me having it out loud.

What I Do Instead — On a Saturday Afternoon

I write blogs apparently. 😄

I make my Noway collagen water in a wine glass over ice. My brain thinks it is having a treat. My body is getting protein and collagen. As I said before, everyone wins.

I go for a walk. The Gemini twin brain gets what she wants and I get the natural mood lift that movement gives, which is genuinely better than the wine haze and does not come with a 3am wake-up as a side effect.

I sit with the wanting for a few minutes and notice it passing. Because it does pass. It always passes.

If Any of This Resonates

If you grew up with an alcoholic parent. If you have used alcohol to cope with something you did not know how to face. If you are sitting on a Saturday afternoon wanting a glass of wine for reasons you do not quite want to examine. If you are wondering whether your drinking is serving you or whether you are serving it.

You are not alone. You are not broken. You are a woman who has been through things and found ways to cope that made sense at the time. The Reinvention Tour is about finding better ways. Not perfect ways. Not ways that require you to be someone you are not. Just better ones.

That is enough. You are enough. 💛

Has alcohol been part of your story? I would love to hear from you in the comments — honestly, without judgement. This is a safe space. Always. 💛